Planning a wedding is no small task - especially when trying plan one with people from around the globe - but it definitely comes in waves that you can prepare yourself for.
The first wave is the most exciting as it is all about figuring out the big things - where to have the wedding, what time of year, how big or small do you want it, what's the feel you're going for. This first part is when you start to build out your vision which every following wave will work to achieve. I'd recommend deciding with your future hubby on what your three priority items are. Once those are chosen you'll likely need to base the rest of your decisions based on budget meaning compromises will be made. For us our must-haves were venue, food, and music. While we did care about drinks, flowers, centerpieces, etc those items weren't priority. Keep in mind that while your husband-to-be might not be as into the planning as you are, making him feel like he has a say and involving him in decisions will not only make the process more enjoyable in the long run but it will also make him feel in the know and alleviate some of the pressure off both of you on your big day. Feel free to give him a task so that he carries some of the responsibility as well - don't forget, working together is something you'll be doing the rest of your lives so setting the stage now isn't a bad idea.
In phase two is when you'll have some down time as you've reserved and planned all the big items for the wedding but you aren't yet close enough to the big day to get into the details. This is normal and while it's a bit of an uncomfortable stage, it's the perfect time to change gears and focus on your honeymoon, wedding shower, and bachelor/bachelorette parties. While sure, letting your spouse head off to Vegas to act a fool might not get you excited, you have to build trust at some point and what better time to test it than before you're married. Should anything go wrong, at least you'll have an out - kidding, but not really haha. And most likely the fear is all in your head around what you've seen in the movies. So ready for my big recommendation? Do your parties at the same time. Whether it's one evening or a weekend getaway, having them at the same time allows you both to be distracted with your own evenings leaving little time to worry about what the other person is doing. And if not everyone can make it to your special celebration - don't forget weddings cost a lot for those participating in all the events as well - at the end of the day you'll learn a lot about your friends in the process. Who will be selfish and make it all about them. And who will fly around the world for just a few hours to make sure your day is as special as it can be.
Last stage of planning I would say is the hardest primarily because it's the most tedious - tying up loose ends etc - when all you want is for the big day to happen already and for it to go without a hitch. Ultimately my advice here is just to stay organized and calm and at the end of the day remember whatever is meant to happen will happen and it will be one of the most memorable days of your life. Make check lists, keep receipts, and when people offer to help don't be afraid to give them a task. Just like it takes a village to raise a kid, it also takes a village to pull off a wedding. All that said, if you can, get a day of coordinator who can help with execution so that on the day of you don't have to worry about anything but having a great time.
And finally - ENJOY! Be sure to live in the moment and take time to process the day as you go - things around you will happen a million miles an hour - take time to breath because it'll be over before you know it at which point my husband and I said we wished we could live it all over again - and that was before the day was even over. Also don't be afraid to keep the celebrations going instead of rushing off to your honeymoon - being that we had so many international guests in attendance it was great that our wedding basically took place over a week versus just one day. We rented a house for the week for all the international guests, had a brunch the morning after the wedding for everyone who stayed the night, and then a casual pool and grill party the evening after to soak up as much time as we could with our wonderful friends and families.
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